You are just the right Mom for your child
Last week I actually got my teeth cleaned. I was so impressed with myself for following through with an early morning dental appointment that I had only rescheduled twice. But, as I pulled in on two wheels with one minute to spare, I took a final swig of my cinnamon dulce cup of coffee and the realization struck me; I had not brushed my teeth. Yep, I had coffee breath, just call me “yuck mouth.” Oh well, I took comfort in knowing my dental hygienist was sure to get a fulfilling sense of satisfaction for a “job well done” when she finished with me. In fact, I might even be doing her a favor of sorts. I imagined it would rival the feeling of accomplishment I get right after I vacuum. Love that feeling, even if it is short lived. As I plopped down in the chair confessing my sins to my hygienist, she was very quick to reassure me that my mouth was “not so bad after all” and told me about the time she picked BBQ out of someone’s teeth, so no worries. Well, as so often happens, transparency opened the door to an instant friendship.
As she went about her work, she began sharing. It was sweet to find out that she was a younger version of myself since she has four young daughters of similar age span as mine. She was in the throws of being a young mom while I am navigating the newness of parenting young adults. It was an encouraging time of swapping stories and proudly describing just enough about each daughter to highlight each one’s individuality. This is something that never ceases to amaze us moms of multiple children, especially when they’re all the same gender. Honestly, it’s incredible that they can be raised by the same parents, yet each one still be so unique.
As our conversation continued, I mentioned that I had home schooled the girls and had the blessing of cultivating their individual interests and talents. She was very excited to hear about homeschooling because she was actually considering it for her family; however, she was unsure if she could do it and admittedly a little scared at the thought. She went on to tell me how she was trying desperately to teach 4-year-old “daughter number 3” to recognize and name the letters of the alphabet. The young mom honestly admitted that she felt like she must be doing it all wrong because progress was not happening.
“I mean, I hold up a picture of the letter A, for instance, and tell her its name, but she just doesn’t seem interested and definitely will not remember it later. I think it may be because I don’t give her enough one-on-one attention. I’m always having to care for her baby sister and holding her in my lap. Maybe that’s the reason. Or, maybe she’s just a free spirit because she’s constantly moving. Getting her to pay attention for even a few minutes is close to impossible. Maybe I’m just not who she needs to teach her. Maybe as a mom I’m just not really capable.”
Her words were so full of the honest love of a mother who wants desperately to be the best for her daughter, yet in her uncertainty is crumbling under the pressure to be “Super Mom” and choking on spoonfuls of self doubt. Similar words have come out of my mouth many times over the years. She expressed her raw and real struggles with me having no idea I’ve walked this same road with my third daughter, but, God knew. He knew my journey as a mom who experienced parenting a young daughter with a reading struggle could be used to speak words of reassurance and hope. So, in between brushing, flossing, and rinsing, I was able to offer her encouragement from what feels like a “lifetime of knowledge.” I reassured her that her daughter might learn differently than her sisters, and that’s okay. With the right resources, progress would come. Most importantly for now, at her daughter’s tender young age, I suggested for her to keep learning fun. As she dances around the kitchen in her princess costume, instead of insisting she sit still for instruction, grab her hands and spin right along with her. Model for your daughter a love of learning new things. Model for her ways to taste, touch, hear, and see living letters in her everyday world. The preschool years are pivotal ones for laying the foundation for the joy of learning and associating positive feelings with reading. When it feels stressful or tensions start to mount, walk away! Take a break! Simply do something else. Take it from one who has been there.”
“Most importantly,” I told her, “remember, youare the right mother for your daughter. You are the one perfectly designed by God to navigate life with her, even the road to reading. That road may include several school or academic settings. No doubt you’ll need advice and help from others at times, so don’t hesitate to reach out. There are sure to be obstacles and roadblocks along the path; however, together you will forge ahead and celebrate every lesson learned as each step brings along the way because your daughter knows with all her heart that you are her biggest fan and always on her side!”
As she gave me a hug and we exchanged numbers, she told me she’s not usually working in this particular dental office. Today was a rare time they just needed an extra hand because staffing was low. We both agreed our meeting was no accident. I’m thankful to God for everyday moments like this one that make it so clear to me that He goes before us and prepares the way. He gives us evidence of grace as he affirms to us that He is intimately involved with every detail of our lives by turning our mess into our message and allowing us to be a blessing.
