Riley lifted her chin and just stared at me, obviously thinking something. Pondering something deeply. So, I waited. Finally, she whispered with such intensity it was as if the words had a life of their own and she could not keep them from hissing out like a kettle that had reached the boiling point. She quietly but desperately asked through gritted teeth, “So you’re saying my handwriting isn’t good?” Now, reader, let me pause here and take a moment to translate. On the surface she was asking about my opinion of her handwriting, but in her little heart of hearts she was questioning her worth.
You see, to rewind the scene about ten seconds, I had just complimented her big sister on her lovely handwriting. As her teacher, I was simply doing my job, and believing I was doing it well. I was offering much needed encouragement to my eldest daughter who was tasked with the goal of improving her penmanship because, well, it had needed improvement. Riley, daughter number 2, was oblivious to Shelby’s plight. Riley had no idea that her sister was hard at work to “hit the mark” set for herself since, up to this point, she had been “falling short.” No, you see, Riley only interpreted my praise of Shelby to mean that she was the one falling short.
As a woman myself, and a mom of four amazing women, moments of self-doubt like the one Riley had that day in our little elementary home school room have come all too often. Honestly, how many times have you let yourself fall victim to the comparison trap? I mean, just yesterday I was at the YMCA and, and suddenly it happened to me. I noticed one woman, then another, then another, who looked amazing. They were tone, fit, strong, and “killing it”. And just like that, I was feeling as if I was back in my 7th grade pudgy body with the haircut up to my ears and a face full of zits. Most of me wanted to pack it up and just go home.
It was at that very moment a friend, one of the women I was in the middle of sizing up, interrupted my thoughts, “Hey there! Wow, you look great!” The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. She went on to confess that she was feeling angry with herself because she was off her routine since the kids had been home for summer break. Now that school was back in session, she was finishing up a workout and noticed that she had lost strength, tone, and in general just wasn’t where she left off a few weeks ago. As she shared her struggles, I realized we are all in this fight together. So, instead of continuing my pity party, I returned the reassurance she had just offered to me. I told her the truth. “You’re killing it! You’re an awesome wife, loving mom, and a beautiful woman.”
I continued my workout with a fresh burst of energy and an awakened mindset that just because another woman is beautiful doesn’t mean I’m not beautiful. I am free to love who I am, celebrate the progress God is making in my life, and all the while celebrate the beauty of other women too. Let’s make a point to compliment, encourage, and cheer one another on. Because, friend, the truth is that you are loved by Christ and part of the strong kingdom of God; therefore, you are enough now. No doubt, as you walk in confidence it will be contagious to your children too! Now, isn’t that a truly amazing legacy to pass along?
